December 18th, 2006: It's been a long time.....

12:51 pm:
Wow, I hadn't realized that it had been so long since I posted to this journal. Not that I'm posting to another journal, I just read a few other peoples posts and apparently forgot to "enlighten" the world with my own damn thoughts. However, I do have to ask am I losin' my mind? I have recently caught myself actually saying "My friend from the internet...." these are BLOGS I read. I might as well have called Ann Landers and Erma Bombeck "My newspaper friends". Well with my sanity in question, now I feel I may proceed.

Work--- has been cyclic, so busy I can't see the end of the day or so slow I can count heartbeats. Hired and Fired all the necessary people. We just attract some VERY entertaining people. Need to check references folks. It's a pain in the butt, until you realize you could have prevented....INSANITY IN YOUR LIFE. I'm just sayin'.

Beau --- well we are currently have our ongoing, 20 year, WTF, conversations. Totally thought I wouldn't be dealing with relationship fundamentals at this point in my life....WRONG.
Lately the phrases du jour are:
"I'm just not attracted to you, but I love you",
"I'm not sure what "I" want out of "A" relationship",
"I haven't really "wanted you that way" since you started gaining weight",
"I love you so much, I can't imagine my life without you in it".

But the rest of the time he's a normal functioning in society kind of guy. He's really SO NOT the guy I met 20 years ago, but we all change. Lots of decisions to make. Most of these statements were made under duress...I asked him. And since, we seem to have instilled a "NO LYING, BEATING AROUND THE BUSH, or even soften the blows (save my feelings) policy", I have managed to retain the "highlights that were etched into MY FREAKIN' SOUL. I don't understand the verbal diarrhea he seems to get when I want a normal relationship conversation. Actually, I think he just goes for the jugular to shut me up so he doesn't have to talk. Which would be wonderful for me, I hate talking every damn thing to death. Just freakin' DO IT. Okay, enough rant.

Holidays --- I have officially had Christmas explode in my living room/house. Crooked Tree decorated and named, check. Boughs of pine on the stairwell then wrapped with lights, check. Stockings on the wall and the mantle, check. Lights on the front windows, check. All figurines, candles, mistletoe, afghans, place-mats, dishware, bathroom linens,check. Holidays cards hung on walls,check. Presents under tree, holiday pillows in guest room, CHECK.CHECK. But have I mailed out all the presents or even the cards.....not so much. Almost done, UPS can hate me tomorrow. SO holidays are right on schedule. I do have to go shopping for the Christmas feasting though, I just can't decide what to make. Probably a ham and a turkey. *sigh* I must make a decision.

Okay, what's left? My little darlin's they are all being perfectly wonderful...more on that later.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone. May your holiday be as wonderful as your imagination.