December 27th, 2006: December 27th....Christmas is gone and the New Year is looming

I'm at work. Working. *gah* I managed to make it into work on every single one of my days off. Except Christmas day and Christmas Eve. I really should leave town when I take time off.

Well I'm working on all the year end stuff that needs to get done. I'm still tracking packages on-line for the NUMEROUS errant packages shipped from un-named large dept stores. So basically, I'm keeping the 12 days of shipping, (I mean of course Christmas), alive and well. Oh JOY. Christmas was good. I got some very entertaining gifts. Mostly the were you really thinking of ME(?!?!?!?) when you bought this item? And the cute stuff, and of course the "allllrriiiggghhhtttyy ttthhheeennnn, Thank you" gifts. Along with 2 tons and 20 different brands of candy. Like my well endowed self needs "food for thought". *sigh*

On another note I've determined that I need to get my finances under control. Time to start reeling in the debt. I'm working on it, but the goal is to pay off at least a third by next New year. I may need a part time job too. Hmmm, already not spending quality time with the other half, this should make things dandy. Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder. Probably not. I'll postpone that idea until after I've put together a budget plan. And had a tag sale or 5.

Well I should get back to number crunching.

Talk to me later!:)

December 19th, 2006: Christmas Shipping...DONE!!!

I'm done packaging items to be shipped for Christmas!!! WooHoo! As soon as UPS picks this last 34lb. box up I'm free to start wrapping for the people who will actually be opening pressies in front of me. I am elated. House is clean, presents are mostly purchased. Some to wrap and I'm good to go! Love not feeling to far behind.

Got Callie back from the vet yesterday. Impacted toe nail. It had grown all the way around and back into her foot. Only my cats would have types of problems. But she's all fixed and on the meds for any infection and the world is currently being seen through the branches of a very colorful Christmas tree. She has her spot all picked out.

Got all the stocking stuffers today and need to get a few more Kitty crunchy type things but I think X-mas at Chez Cat palace is well under wraps. I'll make cookies tonight and tomorrow night after my cousin comes into to town. There's always after dinner. Besides I didn't have any plans for say 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. Sleep is HIGHLY over rated.

I'm making an effort to keep my journal up to date. I think in the long run it will help me diffuse a lot of the things bouncing around in my head. Just tryin' to stay sane...no biggie.

Well love to all.
Ciao.

December 18th, 2006: Christmas Tree Name

04:55 pm:

Oh! I almost forgot...this year the tree has been declared "Guinevere". Yes, I name ALL my Christmas trees. This year was the first female tree. I'm so happy. Last Year was "Ernest", before that "Bob", "Clarence", "George", you get the idea. Its a way to give the tree some respect and to bring the holidays that much closer.

Yes, I am probably in serious need of meds. But I think it's cute so.....there.

Any who, this year the tree is obviously female, she didn't cost a lot, but she looks great. She has a full skirt and no holes anywhere! Which is truly amazing, because when I picked her out she was all tied up in that plastic fishing net stuff and they broke the top off. I prefer to think of it as she has no part in her hair now. Plus After putting on the lights and all the ornaments, she looks great. No garland, or fancy stuff, just a lot of green. All the ornaments are actually nestled in her branches and she could handle many more. Not minimalist but it looks like it. I will eventually figure how to post pictures. And you can see my beautiful tree. My cats think she's great.

Again, Happy Holidays.

December 18th, 2006: It's been a long time.....

12:51 pm:
Wow, I hadn't realized that it had been so long since I posted to this journal. Not that I'm posting to another journal, I just read a few other peoples posts and apparently forgot to "enlighten" the world with my own damn thoughts. However, I do have to ask am I losin' my mind? I have recently caught myself actually saying "My friend from the internet...." these are BLOGS I read. I might as well have called Ann Landers and Erma Bombeck "My newspaper friends". Well with my sanity in question, now I feel I may proceed.

Work--- has been cyclic, so busy I can't see the end of the day or so slow I can count heartbeats. Hired and Fired all the necessary people. We just attract some VERY entertaining people. Need to check references folks. It's a pain in the butt, until you realize you could have prevented....INSANITY IN YOUR LIFE. I'm just sayin'.

Beau --- well we are currently have our ongoing, 20 year, WTF, conversations. Totally thought I wouldn't be dealing with relationship fundamentals at this point in my life....WRONG.
Lately the phrases du jour are:
"I'm just not attracted to you, but I love you",
"I'm not sure what "I" want out of "A" relationship",
"I haven't really "wanted you that way" since you started gaining weight",
"I love you so much, I can't imagine my life without you in it".

But the rest of the time he's a normal functioning in society kind of guy. He's really SO NOT the guy I met 20 years ago, but we all change. Lots of decisions to make. Most of these statements were made under duress...I asked him. And since, we seem to have instilled a "NO LYING, BEATING AROUND THE BUSH, or even soften the blows (save my feelings) policy", I have managed to retain the "highlights that were etched into MY FREAKIN' SOUL. I don't understand the verbal diarrhea he seems to get when I want a normal relationship conversation. Actually, I think he just goes for the jugular to shut me up so he doesn't have to talk. Which would be wonderful for me, I hate talking every damn thing to death. Just freakin' DO IT. Okay, enough rant.

Holidays --- I have officially had Christmas explode in my living room/house. Crooked Tree decorated and named, check. Boughs of pine on the stairwell then wrapped with lights, check. Stockings on the wall and the mantle, check. Lights on the front windows, check. All figurines, candles, mistletoe, afghans, place-mats, dishware, bathroom linens,check. Holidays cards hung on walls,check. Presents under tree, holiday pillows in guest room, CHECK.CHECK. But have I mailed out all the presents or even the cards.....not so much. Almost done, UPS can hate me tomorrow. SO holidays are right on schedule. I do have to go shopping for the Christmas feasting though, I just can't decide what to make. Probably a ham and a turkey. *sigh* I must make a decision.

Okay, what's left? My little darlin's they are all being perfectly wonderful...more on that later.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone. May your holiday be as wonderful as your imagination.

June 19th, 2006: I got a laptop!!!!

Okay, I mention this because now I think I'll be a little more regular on the whole posting thing. If anyone was reading this besides me anyway. I probably have to set up some other damn thing so people can respond (as if!)to any of my whiny damn posts. The original purpose for this outlet was to try and calmly sort my thoughts. To basically slow my brain down to my typing speed (haha, I've learned to type faster)! We've been sooooooo freakin' busy at work I haven't given any personal thought to me.

Relationship wise, everything is "Fine". I'm still confused about some issues but I don't know how to respond like a normal person anymore. *sigh*Hmmm, just noticed my nails are adding the letter "m" to the front of every word I typed. Crappy doodle. Space bar is too close to the letter. (Okay, nails are too long, but just the thumb nail!) I will adjust and assume the proper typing format.Back to being confused. I think I'm just being reactive to conditioning. That makes sense to me. I am reacting to the way I have been treated and I have conditioned myself to be closed down and protective. Just maintaining status quo. I'm not doing so good with the whole dynamic shift. Its awkward, and too damn slow. Like tectonic plates. I'll think more on this later.

Ciao for now!

June 9th, 2006: I'm not Dead

Hello, I haven't posted in a while. I've been out and about and just haven't "journaled".

May 17th, 2006: I need a copy of last weeks Charmed episode!!!!!!!

I need to file taxes tomorrowI know this isn't the best way to remind myself of these things but this seems like it will get them job done until I set-up my e-mail on this laptop.In other news, I was uncommonly happy that the team I wanted to win, Bj & Tyler, won on the amazing race. Go college!!!!! Hippies my tushy. that was just a derogatory remark to psych them out, or up. Too bad the "frat boys" didn't actually finish school. They might have had rote memorization on zero sleep down pat.Oh well, in other reality based dramas, I thought Terry on Survivor should have won. I hate the fact that Aras and Danielle took first and second, respectively. Danielle screwed Terry every chance she got. And Aras just showed no respect. Ughhh, they can't all be lazy brats and win. That just sucks. In other TV related news...My brain is on overload this week trying to keep up with all the season and series finales the networks are showing. I missed last weeks episode of Charmed, the second to last episode of all time and I can't find it anywhere....Help!!!!!! The name of the episode was Kill Billie: Vol. III'll pay to have it!!! Please even a copy of a copy would be awesome. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 20th, 2006: It has been a while....

It has been a while since I've taken a moment to dash off a thought. My thoughts have been mostly happy, but we have the ongoing struggle of work and life to contend with. Relationship: Okay,doing better, actual communication taking place and underlying hostilities are abating. It's gonna be our 20 year anniversary before I think we are a "real" couple again. Unfreakin' believable. I don't feel lost and lonely when there's no one around but us anymore. I've found my independence, it just doesn't correspond with my preconceived concepts of what it means to be in a relationship. Oh well. I am currently trying to be content in my platonic, amiable, polite relationship. *deep sigh* Tearing down walls takes just as long as building them. SUCKY!!!!Work:Work keeps going with all the usual PITA things going on around me. 2 people quit and its been hectic. Emotions are high, tempers are short, and deadlines are looming. FUN, FUN, FUN!!! I have to go to our other offices tomorrow to do Exit interviews and inventory assets. Did I mention how fun this sounds? But I'm happy we are busy and doing well. Furry Friends:I have three cats. They are verbal, They know words. They especially know, and can say "NO", and "Hello". They are neurotic, needy, bitchy, furry, loving, and opinionated.Sissy (15) Sissy was adopted in Southern California with her brother Bubba, from her mother. Bubba has passed on. But Sissy is still with us and fat and happy. She is the smartest cat I've ever met. Just my opinion, and yes, my kids would be better than your kids too. She has kept me amused for many, many years. She once brought home a hummingbird, in her mouth with the beak sticking straight out. Through the cat door, she tried to sneak by me and I had to hit her on the back to get her to open her mouth. Poor bird was on me for the next three hours, it finally calmed down enough to see it could leave if it wanted, and flew off into the sunset. Completely unharmed just covered in cat spit. Callie (8?) Callie found me the day after Christmas 2 years ago and begged for help. She came to my back door and said her last Meow for the next 9 months and collapsed. After nursing her back from damn near dead (Actual vet quote "...don't bother, she won't make the night"), She's happy, healthy, furry, and sweet as can be. We think she was our elderly neighbors cat, and when she passed on, Callie was just left to fend for herself. Now she's pampered.Squeaker (3). Squeaker was so small when I found her! We were coming out of the bowling alley one night (league), it was drizzly, and cold in Sept. Waiting for the engine to warm up,I turned on the headlights in the truck, and saw what I thought was an abandoned beer bottle blink at me. I, being nosy as hell, had to get out and investigate this. I went up to the curb and looked at he beer bottle and next to it was this baby kitten. She's tortoise shell and she wasn't bigger than the bottle. She binked, I blinked, I held out my hand and she jumped in it snuggled down, opened her mouth to mew, ( I think, no noise yet.) and purred. So as I'm taking my new "baby" back to the truck, Eric is saying "NO, Put up flyers, someone is missing her, NO...." Yeah that did the trick until he saw her. I put her in his hand, his huge hand, and he put her up to his face to say hello. She stood up kissed his nose, sat down closed her eyes and went to sleep. Guess who's daddy's girl now.....

March 28th, 2006: Tuesday, Oh Bother!

This is gonna be a rough day at work. Big presentation and of course technology is evil magic and therefore its not complete. Crossing my fingers we get more time. Keep it simple and point out the "features". We can always add more functionality. It'll be a good thing, it has to be. I think I'm gonna try knitting tonight. I need a nervous habit and XBOX ain't it.ciao for now.

March 23rd, 2006: Just another day in ????!?!?!

Okay, I live in a part of the country were the weather is just NOT reliable. It SNOWED last night and this morning, and around noon it decided that it wanted to be warm and now its like 50-60 degrees outside and oh so perfectly sunny. The only evidence of the freakin' snow I had to shovel off my vehicle is the VERY LARGE PUDDLE surrounding my parking spot. When I went to lunch it actually had so much water running off it that it looked like someone had a hose on the roof and just left it on. I actually laughed out loud. My truck was piddlin'. I mean it was actually splashing back up from the pavement, wet. All the other well behaved cars in the parking lot were just so dignified in their very dry spots. It was too funny. You may have actually had to be there. I admit to being on mass quantities of caffeine. But it really was funny. Now we are almost off to the bowling alley for league. Let's see if I can even make my average tonight after shooting my highest game ever last week. No pressure here. Kinda' bummed I'm having a cheeseburger and crinkle fries for dinner, but there's always tomorrow night. I'm thinking stuffed pork chops with chutney and green beans. Maybe a starch, corn possibly. Mashed potatoes sounds awful yummy though.I must be hungry. I'm looking forward to TV tonight and spending the evening with my beau. Ciao for now, y'all.P.S. I still haven't taken the time to figure out the picture/ICON thing yet. I may need to be a paid user?

March 21st, 2006: From Daze to Days

I'm having a very rough start this morning. Tired, and have a migraine from the other side. The weather is cold and bleary and I was so looking forward to warm and sunny.Tonight we have our weekly meeting of the minds. Confusion will ensue. I always walk away from these sessions so confused. I used to know what was right, wrong, felt good, felt bad. I never saw myself as an unfocused, undecisive person. I feel like the whole world is being blamed on me and yet they keep telling me that the world doesn't revolve around me and that I shouldn't be involved. But I feel like I'm fighting for the right to help others and to take on responsibility in areas that this wasn't even a question in for me before. I am a big sister, I have duties and resposibilities to my sibs, UNTIL THE DAY I DIE. It didn't go away when I moved out, the environment just changed. You fight to protect and keep whole your first family. Ugh, I'm already getting myself worked up just trying to figure how to explain to these two what it means to have responsibilities that you cherish.Thumpa, thumpa, goes my head....

March 17th, 2006: My highest score Ever!!!!

Last night I bowled a 223!!! My highest score EVER. I was very much elated, and apparently still am. Woo-hoo!!! Yippee, now all I have to do is do it again. My average is only 134. So can you say "fluke"? Whatever. Just had to share my great news.Bill & Joan decided to leave this morning instead of Saturday. SO I guess I won't be spending any time with them tonight. John and Kay made a wonderful meal of pot roast and veggies for all of us before Eric and I had to bail for bowling. We got there just in time to start. No warm-up. There was an interesting conversation at dinner that was also fairly maudlin. We were all discussing were we were when family members had passed on. Fathers, Mothers, grandparents, friends, etc. I think they are still uncomfortable about my father's death. He was their brother and the middle child and died at 49. 11 years ago. They are in there 70's an late 50's an still doing fine. They don't know how to discuss the subject around me because "I'm a kid" 37 years old, but I'm a kid. But it went well and no one cried or anything. But then we had to go bowling. I think I was a little edgy about all that. It was stirring around in my brain anyway. Everything was just faintly annoying. Oh well. We have moved on and I have had a "life moment".**SNAP** 223, getting achievement gifts from the association **snap** Things I hope to remember when I'm a kid in my 90's.