Dear Mr. Ex....

I need to move on now. I have come to finally realize that you will NEVER be honest and open with me. Nor are you interested in actually working on a relationship with me in particular. I wanted to be your friend and I still had hope that maybe we could be in each others lives. I Love you, but you don't really share those feelings. I don't know what to do with unused or unwanted love and have been trying to figure that out by applying it to my "Hope bank". Well, It's clear you don't want to even look at our relationship. Examine any part of it, or to actually ever give me piece of mind through closure. For everyone that has ever hurt you, you are passing it on to me. And I honestly don't deserve it. You are projecting so many negative things on me I can't keep track anymore, and I don't want to have to defend myself from you trying to feel better by damaging my reputation. I'm Sorry you can't or won't look at me and realize we had a life. It wasn't great, but we weren't even trying. Our life was good, and should have been great. Your all I've ever known of love that didn't come from family. I fear you may be all I ever know.

But that brings us to here. Today. I need to stop asking you to help me with services I can pay for. Its only a way for me to hurt myself by allowing hope into my life. Your love was never blind when it came to me and I fear it never will be. You judge me so harshly, I feel bad about myself when you and I are together. I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, I'm fat, and yet the measuring sticks being used against me are not even in my league. I know I'm a fundamentally good person, I know I am an intelligent woman. I know I'm beautiful and sexy, and quite frankly I'm not fat. I could stand to lose about 20 lbs, but that's not fat. I am funny, and quirky, and I love with all of myself. I give to a fault, never with money but of myself. I am also a very strong and independent woman. I have opinions, and I have a need to communicate. I guess we were never equals and you never wanted an equal. You wanted someone to look up to you and be there at your convenience.

So I need to finish breaking up with you. You keep telling me things that are designed to keep me on the shelf until you are ready. I can't do that. I gave you more than half of my life. If you want to be with me, tell me. If you don't fine. It's not a wait and see proposal. But you really must make a decision about yourself. My love is fluid, and I will never not be in love with you. But I will be loved by whomever I find myself with for my future. I will never take sloppy seconds or thirds again.

You were right you treated me poorly. Very poorly. I told you before I wanted to possibly get an attorney and get a "divorce". You said you and I could save the expenses and work it out. We obviously can't. You won't talk to me, about us.

So we need discuss the removal and division of the rest of "our" and my things. As well as "custody" of the cats. I've been so busy making sure I didn't hurt you in all this I was hurting myself on your behalf. Fortunately, you were busy with other Hobbies, and break-ups with more important people in your life. You never noticed me. Par for the course.

I'm stopping now, but I want a day and a time to come finish getting my stuff and to return to you all of the stuff I have of yours at the apartment. I don't want you to feel that I ever "took" anything from you. I refuse to be lumped in with the people you bought and call friends or lovers.

I'm done being hurt and protecting you. I'm sorry I was never your family and my well being was never a priority. I'm also sorry that in all the world your the only one who never saw me as I am.

Forever to infinity,

Me